Change the Lines Sonny with a Chance Version
by Trissacar
Summary: Change the lines and what do you get! Insanity! Lots of innuendo. You have bee warned! No lemons.
1. Chapter 1

Changing the lines: Sonny with a Chance

Li: Hello and welcome to changing the lines! Where we takes lines from any show and change them!

Chad: This is my upper and lower. Lower!

Sonny:Huh?

Chad:I said go down lower Sonny!

Sonny: Right!

Chad: Lower lower (Sing song voice) Oh my academy awards!

* * *

Nico: A man she be allowed to have as many pickles as he wants!

Mr. Garrison: Your damn right! Right Mr. Hat ?

: Yes and if you get in the way you go to hell you go to hell and you die!

Nico: What are you talking about?

: Aren't we talking about gay rights?

* * *

Tawni: I'm just looking at my nub.

Grady: Thats what SHE said!

Nico: Hey I need a rub on my nub!

* * *

Nico: How about 18 supermodels!?

Supermodel: I'm not into other girls.

Nico: No not them us!

Supermodel: As I said I'm not into other girls.

Grady: LOW!

Chad: Lower Lower now say you hate me

Grady: What are you doing here!? Oh God!


	2. Chapter 2

Chad: So which one of you girls is going to get me a sandwhich? And by sandwhich I mean sandwhiching me between you two and by that I mean just your boobs.

* * *

Chad: And you cut the crust off just the way my mommy does.

Sonny: This explains so much...

* * *

Chad: Tell me where it hurts

Operah: My va jay jays painin'!

Chad: TMI!

* * *

Nico: Buh-Bye!

Grady: Who was that an actress?

Nico: Prostitute.

Grady: I hope you got a twofer (two for one)


	3. Chapter 3

Sonny: Is she barking?

Chad: Yeah why can't you do that?

Sonny: Cause I'm not.

Chad: But you whimper when I rub your-

Sonny: WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER!

* * *

Grady: Chocolate! You know girls love chocolate!

Chef: Tell me about it...

Grady: What?!

Chef: Nico knows what I'm talking about...

Nico: Mmm hmm!

* * *

(Chad eating the sandwhich named after him)

Chad: Mmm Mmm thats some good Chad

Sonny: Stop pleasuring yourself and hand me those tickets!

* * *

Sonny: You got it baaaad (for hayden)

Tawni: I'm goin plow him

Sonny: Ew just ew...

* * *

Chad looking at Sonny's flashback

Chad: Haha you were fat when you were younger.

Sonny: You're not getting any for a month.

Chad: Damnit!

* * *

Hayden: Whats going on here?!

Tawni: I'm a man.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's incoherent ramblings: In response to milan7595. They have the rating system for here for a reason I suggest looking at it. If you want to see vulgar or gross watch southpark. This isn't supposed to be serious.**

**Yes I do have to reply cause in Cartman's words "People piss me off!" And also**

**"Screw you guys I'm going home."**

**So there. Screw you guys I'm going home.**

* * *

Grady: This is the role I was born to play! Fashionita!

Chad: Is this your way of saying you're going to have a sex change operation?

Miss Garrison : Whats wrong with that!?

* * *

Sonny: Anyone want my hotdog?

Tawni: Is that a euphemism for something?

Grady: I feel like I should know the answer to this one...

* * *

Doll glued to Nico's hand.

Nico: Its so sticky why can't I get it off!?

Grady: Thats what SHE said.

Nico: Who is she?! And why was she talking about me?! Did you get her number?

* * *

Chad(on phone): Hey Sonny whats the Dilly?

Sonny: Is that your booty call? Cause if it is then you're in for a rude awakening!


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's incoherent ramblings: I got a news flash for some haters out there my humor is awesome go watch some suite life and leave me da f alone.**

* * *

Chad: You're all hired...except for Sonny...

Sonny: What?!

Chad: You have to audition like anyone else.

Sonny: Fine but no handcuffs this time.

* * *

Selena: Are you madd at me cause I got the part and you didn't?

Sonny: Whhhhaaaat?! No! ........I'm gonna kill you bitch!

* * *

Sonny: Remember Selena your dream is to be on the cast of so random Chad is just the monster that wakes you up! Oh and remember that you hate him you just really really hate him

Chad: Is it that time of the month again already?

* * *

Miss Bitterman: You have a stain on your tie.

Sonny: You could cut the sexual tension with a knife.

Marshall: I'm feeling some tension but not the kind your thinking of.

Miss Bitterman: What you don't like me?

Marshall: I think I'm goin to stab you with my spork. Or gauge out my eyes I haven't decided.

* * *

Miss bitterman: Look who I live with me and my 16 cats.

Li: Spay and neuter your pets bitch!

* * *

Miss Bitterman: You said you liked cats!

Marshall: I was talking about the musical.

Sonny/Chad: Damn thats gay.

* * *

Marshall: Sonny I've been working with you kids a long time.

Sonny: I've only been here like two weeks.

Marshall: When you're surrounded by kids it feels like an eternity.

* * *

(Chad on proms)

Chad: Episode ten my hair caught on fire last year's season finale my date turned out to be my long lost sister.

Sonny: Are you sure that wasn't a wizards of waverly episode?

Chad: Yes David Henrie was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Sonny: No like a real prom with dancing and twinkly lights and a really cool theme.

Nico: Boobs

Sonny: Thats not a theme Nico.

Nico: I know I was just thinking about boobs.

* * *

Marshall: So you're here all dressed up at 7 o'clock at night... Are you a whore.

Sonny: Well if you ask Chad he'll give a different story but no.

Chad: Oh you naughty dirty little whore. Come mere.

Sonny: Duty calls...

* * *

Episode 1

* * *

Sonny: This is the knome from the knome sketch!

Marshall: Actually thats the travelocity knome.

* * *

Grady: Its not fair I always has to be the thing that comes out of you.

Nico: No I come out of you sometimes.

Sonny: I'm sorry I'm looking for So random not Queer as folk.

* * *

Nico: Are you happy now? Exact same costume nobodys coming out of anyones anything.

Grady: You know normally I'd say 'thats what she said' but I'm still angry!

* * *

Zora: A hatchet thats what we need!

Sonny: She scares me.

Li: Thats because shes insane.

*Zora throws hatchet at Li. Li catches it.*

Li: Like that.

* * *

Sonny: Well you know what they say theres no such thing as bad butt-publicity.

Nico: Oh is that how you and Chad roll?

* * *

Zora: Stop blowing and start talking.

Chad: Something terrible just happened.

* * *

*To sonny*

Chad: You smell like ham. I am totally turned on right now.

* * *

(Playing musical chairs. Chad gets in the chair as the music stops Sonny sits on top of him.)

Sonny: Haha! I win! Uh oh..._OH!_

Chad: Now just shift a little to your left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's incoherent ramblings: So I'm glad ya'll are finding it funny. I secretly pride myself on my humor. **

* * *

Grady: She covorted with the enemy!

Chad: Is that what the kids are calling it nowdays? Then yes we were 'covorting' all night.

* * *

Sonnny: Do you think its weird that I haven't gotton any fan mail?

Marshall: No I think its weird you haven't gotten pregenent with the amount of 'covorting' you and Chad do.

Sonnny: I'm not sure thats even a real word!

* * *

*Nico and Grady going through fan mail.*

Nico: Pictures of girls...

Grady: Prom invitaions....

Nico: Used tampons? AW NAW!

* * *

*Getting close to Sonny dressed as a boy.*

Tawni: Whats your dude's intuition telling you now?

Sonny/Eric: That you're a lesbian?

* * *

Nico: Look at all that hair.

Grady: Thats what she said!

* * *

Sonny: Check out that guy's pants.

Tawni: Check out that guys ass!

* * *

Tawni: The check it out guys?

Marshall: No they're still girls... Its not that far of a stretch though...

Grady: HEY ! I resemable that remark!

* * *

Sonny: You can tell its not the real Chad cause we've been with him for 5 minutes and he hasn't tried to cop a feel.

Chad: BOOBIES!


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's incoherent ramblings: **

**sabrina really I don't want to explain cuz its in the gutter humor. But I will try to cop a feel means to ahem I can't! GAHHH!!!! The second part is just him randomly popping out of nowhere to say that.**

**Eppy 6**

* * *

Lucy: C'mon Sonny!

Li: Your friend is a douchebag.

Sonny: I know.

* * *

Stan: Oh my God you killed Murphy!

Kyle: You bastards!

Grady/Nico: We didn't mean to kill him!

* * *

Sonny: You know what hurts the most out of all of this? Li was right my friend is a douchebag! Man I need some pity sex right about now.

Chad: You rang m'lady?

* * *

Eppy 7

Sonny: And we've got the cheese pants to prove it!

Tawni: Don't say that ever again.

Sonny: Ok.

* * *

Tawni: Get our pictures on the internet!

Zora: Yours already are...

* * *

Zora: _Evillllllll!_

Li: What you like yourself?

*Zora swings at her*

Sonny: Stop trying to kill Li!

* * *

Dakota: -This is about hot! Chad Dylan Cooper is HOT!

Nico: Wow disney really is corrupting little kids.

* * *

Mr. Condor:-Fire him...But keep his puppy...

Li: What is WrOnG with you?!

* * *

Mr. Condor: Barbara I need my skinny jeans and a hoodie!

Barbara: Oh thats just disturbing.

* * *

Tawni: Chad tip the nice man!

Chad: Oh I don't go that way.

* * *

Chad: Damnit! Sonny that little girl just grabbed my ass!

Sonny (in a baby voice): How sad for you!

* * *

Tawni: Chad Dylan Cooper. Dancing. Nine year old girl.

Crowd: o0o0o0o0o

Mr. Garrison: It'll blow over in a season or two.

Chad: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's incoherent ramblings: New chappy yay!!!!  
**

Season 1, Episode 7: Poll'd Apart

A vicious gossip columnist attacks Tawni, and then the rest of the So Random cast when Sonny tries to persuade her to go easy on her co-star.

* * *

Sonny: Chad thinks hes hot but hes so not.

Nico: Yeah the car is what makes him hot.

Tawni: Its those types of things that makes it hard for you to get a date!

* * *

Sonny: Its like a mullet for your butt!

Li: Do I need to say anything?

Tawni: Oooh! How about 'heres a razor'!

* * *

Chad: Love the wings.

Grady: Love you! I MEAN THE CAR THE CAR!

* * *

Li: Sharona's a bitch.

Sonny: I didn't give you a prompt.

Li: I know but were you going to do it?!

* * *

Zora: As long as theres fire I'm in!

Sonny: Simmer down now Zora we don't want a repeat with that arson investigation.

* * *

Sonny: Shes threatening us with shenanigans!

Captain Barbrady: I heard a report of shenanigans!

* * *

Fast Friends Episode 8

Sonny's public image is maligned during an interview.

* * *

Interviewer Santiago: Hold on so nice girl from Wisconsin is tight with the hottest hollywood bad boy.

Sonny: I wouldn't say tight.

Chad: No you'd say(in girly breathy voice) "Oh Chad! Do it again!" (serious voice) I do stuff to her.

Sonny: This is why we don't have roleplay nights anymore.

* * *

Episode 9 Sonny with a Chance of Dating

Sonny falls for an actor who has a guest appearance on MacKenzie Falls, in spite of Tawni's persistent advice that she shouldn't.

* * *

Sonny: Its a day to day something. Somtimes hour by hour.

Chad: OH YEAH 3 HOURS!

* * *

Sonny: And just so you know this is our first and last fake date.

Chad: Just so long as the action isn't fake

* * *

Sonny: Would I do this if I were on a fake date?

*Pulls off Chad's shirt and starts frenching him.*

James: Can we air this on Disney?

* * *

Episode 19 Sonny in the Middle

* * *

Sonny: What can I say I've got a gift for giving gifts.

Chad: She hasn't given me the gift of 'sweet love' all week!

Sonny: Would you stop popping in here!

Chad: Then live up to dem booty call rules!

* * *

Nico: You know whats weird? You've never kissed a girl!

Grady: You know whats weird? You paid to kiss a girl!

Butters: Well it was only about sixty-five cents aww geez!

* * *

Episode 21 Sonny So Far

* * *

Gilroy: Its like a talk show that punches you in the nuts!

Li: That would be all talk shows.

* * *

*end flashback with nico and grady*

Sonny: They are great guys.

Li: Darnit these are all flashbacks!

* * *

Gilroy: What about Zora she seems pretty weird.

Li: More like psychotic!

*Zora throws javelin at Li*

Sonny: Why do you bait her like that!?

* * *

Gilroy: You girls are giving me nothing!

Chad: Well shes been giving me bl-

Sonny: NAH NAH NAH THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU!

* * *

Tawni: We've made pacts that Sonny wasn't even apart of.

*Flashback to thunder force 4*

Li: That is NOT something to be proud of!

* * *

Gilroy: It'd be shorter if you spilled a little bit.

Li: Aha! Yes I'm getting more pop ins theres nothing funny with a flashback episode!

* * *

Gilroy: Give it up for Chad Dylan Cooper.

Sonny: Been there done that got the T-shirt.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's incoherent ramblings: Li is kinda narrator type who pops up. If you go to deviantart dot com and search Trissacar you'll find something that says I imagine. That is what I imagine her to look like. If you figure it out though you'll get a cookie! ;-)**

**Due to popular demand I've decided to write up some stuffs.**

Nico: What is going on?!

Li: There haven't been any new Sonny with a Chance episodes.

Nico: That doesn't mean Triss gets to slack off!

Triss: Yes it absolutly does! Damnit I'm busy writing other fanfiction, drawing fanart, taking care of my horse,-

Li: Here try this! *Hands Nico a cookie*

Nico: I'm not hungry.

Li: Its not for you its for Triss you idiot!

*Hands Triss the cookie*

Triss: Nom nom nom.

Li: See all better!

* * *

Chad: What the hell are you doing here we're on hiatus!

Li: I see you're not on hiatus from Sonny.

Chad: HEY! I am getting sick and tired of you constantly making me out to be a hormone crazed teenager!

Li: Well aren't you?

Chad: Well yes... BUT THATS NOT THE POINT!

Li: Do Sonny's boobs look bigger then normal?

*Chad looks behind him for Sonny*

Li: I think I've made my point...


End file.
